Performances

Dear As A Wedding Planner,

I am considering making an appearance during the wedding weekend in the costume of an S&M clown--"Randy," one half of a duo that originally included the bride to be in the guise of "Crotchety Ann." I would like this appearance to be sort of a "Cath Kane, This Is Your Life," moment, with Randy a little fuller in the belly and his red yarn hair a little thinner on top, and a bit jaded about the 17 less-than-successful years that have passed since he last saw Crotchety Ann.

Do you think Randy's appearance would be best:

a) As guests arrive to the wedding ceremony?

b) As the ceremony begins. (I picture running up to the barn, beating on the doors or a window, and yelling "Cane! Cane!" somewhat like Dustin Hoffman does in the Graduate.)

c) As the bride and groom leave the ceremony?

d) During the toasts at the reception?

Also, do you know of anyone in East Burke who would rents by the hour a red 1968 Alfa Romeo Spider convertible?

Oh, and have you ever seen Stephan in a fist fight? Does he punch hard? It's probably better that I know in advance.

Thanks, your Pal,

Randy

Dear Randy,

Have you seen Stefan? Clearly he doesn’t punch at all so, I suggest you stay in costume the entire weekend.

- The Wedding Planner

Hygeine

dear wedding planner:

I plan on staying in a tent and when i camp i get grubby.

is bathing required during the weekend?

sincerely,

grubby tenter

Dear Grubby-

Nothing is required when we are celebrating the magical co-mingling of two cherished souls. However, from the way you have phrased your question, it sounds as if you are bringing a one man tent. If you plan to keep it that way, then bathing is certainly optional.

- The Wedding Planner