Monday, July 28, 2008

Single Guests

Dear WP,

Cath and Stefan have made great use of the Internet in planning their wedding --your blog and the annotated Google map of the Northeast Kingdom are among my favorite innovations thus far. My question to you is in the "freedom of Information" category... a freedom made so simple by modern technology.
See, I'm single and as a matter of etiquette I am wondering if it would be untoward to ask Cath and Stefan for a spreadsheet of their RSVP list with a column for martial status color coded for: married (grey), dating-but-not-married (blue), single-but-not-playing-for-my-team (pink), and swinging single (green means go!). I wouldn't go so far as to ask for pictures (now THAT would be gauche), but I would love a head start on the available flirting pool and I just know they are sitting on a gold mine of information!
Almost too shy to ask,

- List Lover

Dear List,

In a day that will undoubtedly be filled with romance and magical expectation, it is natural to feel that luck will be on your side and that you too may swept up by the love that perfumes the Vermont air. Handsome strangers in their fashionable best cast alluring glances and the dance floor hums with anticipation. Hands linger as busboys hand out the champagne glasses, heaving bosoms hover over the crab dip. Ah yes, ardor is in the atmosphere!

This said, I hope it won't dampen your determination to know that every person attending Cath and Stefan's wedding is already in a committed and loving relationship. Each and every person at the ceremony will only have eyes for their mate and will have felt that way for most of their lives. In fact, census data tells us that Vermont is a state where 99% of the inhabitants are in a marriage or civil union that they find "intoxicatingly fulfilling". Therefore, the likelihood of there being any green coded names on the list is virtually nil because every person has the good sense to know that the lonely and hermetic existence of the unloved is unhealthy and to be avoided. My suggestion - make your "flirting pool" the margarita punchbowl.

Dive in!

- The Wedding Planner

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